In this issue...
FDCMuck has been online for about a half year, and it seems to be a success. A lot of the Future Disney Cabinet (FDC) traffic from rec.arts.disney (r.a.d.) has moved there, sometimes to the consternation of some of the denizens of that newsgroup that miss the fun chatter. All in all, the real time aspect of FDCMuck lends itself very nicely to the give and take of the FDC. There are still some people that don't have access to FDCMuck for various reasons (no direct internet access, school/work policies specifically disallow MU* connections, etc.); however, the same is arguably true for newsgroups as well. It is my hope that this newsletter may be seen as some sort of a bridging point, providing access to the FDC, as well as Disney information, in DIS' 'n' DAT's inimitable style.
For over a year, issues of this newsletter have been available in Hypertext (HTML) format, and back issues have been converted into that format. Starting with this newsletter, the "preferred" format for distribution will be HTML, and possibly PostScript (for those that prefer written copies). ASCII distribution will become less and less encouraged, since HTML allows for the possibility of new features, such as graphics (editorial cartoons?). The version published on r.a.d. will be the standard, text only version, which is a nod to the limitations of the newsgroup format. Note that it is possible that people reading the text only version in the future may miss out in a few things that will be found in the HTML and PostScript versions. I would like feedback on this, and suggestions for other improvements, if you have them.
Recently, Disney has released its latest animated flick, Pocahontas, and they've also announced a new theme park for the Walt Disney World. So, we have a lot of catching up to do.
Early on, this newsletter and I have enlisted the services of a very close friend. Amberle Ferrian's dedication, wisdom, and ability to tell me EXACTLY when I am not being funny, combined with her own style and sense of humor, have combined to make this newsletter the proud and glorious achievement into which it has evolved. Amberle has more recently served on the staff of FDCMuck, and has been instrumental in the success of that venture as well. Recently, Amberle has announced that she is losing her net access, and that she will be moving back to her family in California. This issue will be the last issue that will see the direct effects of her editorial pen, but her presence will continue to be felt in future issues. It is with no small sense of gratitude and appreciation that DIS' 'n' DAT wishes Amberle success in her future endeavors, and we know that she will be remembered fondly in all our hearts.
The company has announced a fourth theme park located in their Walt Disney World complex. This theme park will be a zoological park, showing animals in recreations of their native habitat. We were shown some plans for the project, which includes a monorail tour of the park, along with some rides and amusements, and the centerpiece of the park, which will be a brewery. Somehow, we think Disney is being a little less than original here, but it's easy to spot what Disney may consider to be its competition.
The Disney Company is getting more aggressive with their plans at Walt Disney World. With the construction of the All-Star resorts to fill out the low end, people can now choose between lodging ranging from the economically priced All Star resorts to the lavish and expensive Grand Floridian resort. With Fort Wilderness supplying campsites, there is little reason for anybody to stay off-site while travelling to Walt Disney World now. News comes from one of our sources that Disney plans to erect "a fifty foot high wall" surrounding the 43 square mile development, and establish "customs style checkpoints" at all access points into the property, in order to keep people from inadvertently leaving the property before their length of stay passes expire.
Jeffrey (Sparky) Katzenberg has been seen trying to drum up some support for his projects at his new studio. Some people say that Sparky is floating around his resume, which includes such highlights as Disneyland Paris, Cabin Boy, Blank Check, and Father Hood. We at DIS' 'n' DAT suggest that Sparky hire animator Don "I coulda been a contender" Bluth, and few other people that have left the Disney family to produce another Disney "me-too" studio and theme park franchise.
Hyperion Books, the publishing arm of the Disney company, has recently pulled from circulation the one-page book entitled The Art of Oliver & Co. They gave no reason for this action.
The publishers of the famous Berlitz language instructional books, tapes, and videos have signed a deal with Disney to offer the exciting new Pocahontas Presents: Learning a Foreign Language in Thirty Seconds series of language tutor programs.
We had a news item about the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, but have decided in the immortal words of Thumper, "If you can't say anything nice..."
With the success of The Disney Channel, Disney's cable TV offering, there are rumors of other Disney cable ventures in the works. One of the more interesting is entitled Disney Blue and will present "erotica that the entire family can enjoy." More on this as information pours in.
If you have any news and information regarding the Disney organization that you think should be shared with the entire world, feel free to drop us a line.
In various media, be it Disney or not, the magic pixie dust promises to make all our dreams come true... Hey! You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!
But is that really the message of the pixie?
In the story, who was it that got jealous of Wendy Darling upon meeting her? Who tried to kill her by having the lost boys try to shoot down the "Wendy bird?" Who was the one that sold out Peter Pan?
Yes, folks. Even in the Disney universe, pixie dust will never make things better. You can be the keeper of all that magic and still not be able to use it wisely, creating all sorts of new problems.
So, what is Disney trying to tell us? That magic has it's own limitations? That even pixies are human? That you may not even want to relate to a pixie?
My own personal opinion is that Disney was telling us to not get blinded by the magic. That despite the perfection of the environment surrounding Disneyland where real life cannot get in the way, life's frailties still happen. Disney's world is not really the sanitized version of life that its critics have claimed it to be.
Thank god for pixies... they sometimes make us look GREAT in comparison.
Ever since good old Sparky Katzenberg had his little spat with Disney and left to start the Dreamworks studio with his new friends Spielberg and Geffen, much speculation has occured as to how the competition between his new animation department and Disney's would progress. Here is a musical rendition of it for your reading pleasure, sung to the tune of "Savages" (Part 1 and 2) from the movie _Pocahontas_.
The vocals are performed by Michael Eisner, "Sparky" Katzenberg, Stephen Spielberg, David Geffen, Dreamteam (all three), and the Cast Member chorus. The music was written by Alan Menken, and the lyrics by Corey Johanningmeier.
EISNER: What can you expect From bitter little wieners Who's arrogance and fits of temper grow There's no hair on his head Wants my job instead But now with wealthy friends He's worse CAST MEMBERS: They're savages! Savages! EISNER: Studio must crumble CAST MEMBERS: Savages! Savages! EISNER: Their projects are a bore Their animation cels they Look like Don Bluth drew them We all know their crap won't sell! CAST MEMBERS: They're Savages! Savages! Dirty movie moguls We all know who foots the bill SPARKY: Disney can be beat That Eisner just sucks money Their attitude is just the chance we need GEFFEN: But what if they come out With films to help their side DREAMTEAM: We will animate E.T. DREAMTEAM: They're savages! Savages! Will their layers sue us? Savages! Savages! SPIELBERG: I can hire more GEFFEN: They've been around so long And they have all the talent SPARKY: We must steal their animators DREAMTEAM: They're savages! Savages! And they're also cheapskates We will pay a little bit more CAST MEMBERS: Savages! Savages! That is cheating we win DREAMTEAM: Savages! Savages! We will rate it R then ALL: Savages! Savages! Studio is trembling Now we start the really big war!
(Part 2)EISNER: Now it's time to play (go sue them) SPARKY: I'll outdo you anyday (use up all my savings) ALL: We can draw more cash than ever seen BLUTH: I don't know how to draw good Still I know its time to try CAST MEMBERS: Soon they all will pay BLUTH: For once let my work relate DREAMTEAM: Now we have more money BLUTH: Just this once I'd like to soar ALL: Now we market them into the dust BLUTH: Please don't let them notice me... ALL: It's them or us BLUTH: I can make it, I'll be great... ALL: They're just a bunch of Lying, sneaky Savages! Savages! CAST MEMBERS: Wieners DREAMTEAM: Whiners EISNER: Sue them! ALL: Savages! Savages! EISNER: Make them lose some more ALL: Take their audience And make them sit through our stuff BLUTH: How long will they do this for? EISNER: Now we see what comes From firing whining runts ALL: Is the death of all our cash Carried in this stupid big war?
"OK, meetcha back on Main Street in a few!"
A quick trip to the ladies room near the Beauty and the Beast stage at Disneyland, and our trip was over.
The darkness and the autumn chill of a September Saturday night merely served to heighten the sense of sorrow I felt at having to leave. So much fun! Meeting so many friends! Hearing and seeing so many secrets and future plans! For a magical week of a Disneyana convention, love really did conquer all, princes really did rescue princesses in distress, and visiting an enchanted castle was expected of you. Now, the dream life was nearing an end. The contrasts were too great to examine. But knowing I had to face the real world and all its trials in a matter of hours was depressing. I had to leave. The gates, when I left, would lock me out. Perhaps forever, for who knows when, if ever, I'll come back here?
And I was alone. For the first time in my life I was alone in Disneyland and could begin to absorb the enormity of what this park meant to me and to the world raised on a kindly, fatherly figure on TV who told us all of this is what fun and fantasy were all about.
To my left was Toon Town. A yellow glow warmed the blackness of the night. I could still feel the wheel of Roger Rabbit's CarToon Spin in my fists as I tried to twist and turn and twirl through a cartoon world of acetone and zany visual tricks. To my right was the giant Matterhorn. An Abominable Snowman roared inside and added wind chill to my already shivering body.
Walt walked here. We came to honor Walt. But somehow I didn't feel he was there. I saw concrete and steel and pretty colors. I saw a child here and there, and a tired set of parents, as they all scurried this way and that, unmindful of the fact that Walt had walked here. But where was the sense of awe and reverence I was supposed to feel, I thought? Walt walked here. I felt joy at seeing friends, and learning how the place ticked. But Walt walked here. And I felt nothing for that thought except perhaps that time had past. Time was passing. I lingered and couldn't leave, stuck in a timeless empty void of sadness and cynical perplexity. Why can't I feel anything for Walt having walked here?
I looked up at the sound of musical chimes, forward and to the left. It's A Small World Clock noted the passing time. The figures were so gay on this charming timepiece! On my last night, alone, I impulsively ran to take a look as the chimes peeled 11:45 PM.
I ran towards the clock....
Running in glass slippers on concrete is not a wise thing to do. There is no flexibility in the soles, nor traction, and the concrete surface is slippery and uneven for running on. The long blue and silver satin gown gathered round my legs. I had to reach down and lift the skirt slightly to provide a daintier freedom of movement as I ran towards the clock....
Glass slippers and satin ballgown?
I looked down. I was wearing shorts and athletic shoes!
I ran towards the clock....
:: Clop, clop; clop, clop :: Glass slippers on concrete.
:: Rustle, rustle :: of a satin dress made for waltzing, but being worn during a desperate search for a forward movement of a clock, a forward movement I in fact dreaded seeing.
I looked down. I was wearing shorts and athletic shoes!
A mother and child shopped blithely in a small kiosk near the It's A Small World Clock. The shopkeeper cast member there and the mother and child didn't seem to hear these chimes! The time was passing! Hurry! But they ignored it.
I didn't! The chiming was ending. Six, seven...
Will I make it? I can't run in these shoes! This dress is too heavy!
I looked down. I was wearing shorts and athletic shoes!
What is this? I'm in a theme park! I'm a tourist! They measure my spending here and urge me to spend more. I have to leave and meet my husband and friends. But I can't leave until...
successfully reaching this clock! Avoiding the clutter of the store, I go around this shop, my ball dress trailing behind me and rustling, dragging on the concrete, glass slippers clomping away noisily.
The mother and child shopped and never looked towards the sound of noisy glass slippers on concrete. Why?
I could see the clock....!
And missed it! The doors of the cuckoo-clock-like mechanism shut, bringing it's show indoors. Only one more chime session, and the park would be closed, at midnight. And the magic would be over.
"No, you haven't missed it, child!"
Who is that?
I turned around. I saw only another view of the Matterhorn, heard only the mountain winds, felt their chill, heard the cry of the Abominable Snowman mock me.
The kindly elderly lady in a blue cloak looked warm. It was her face, and her smile that radiated genuine warmth of the heart which overcame the chill of a California night. But this was a theme park figure! She was undoubtedly doing a last guest greeting. But there were no children crowding her for pictures and autographs, no parents dutifully preserving this moment in history on film or video. This elderly lady smiled at me as if she not only understood I was running, but why.
"I was running to see the clock..." I said awkwardly.
"I missed it." I said. "I'll be leaving soon, and I missed seeing this clock...."
And the lady smiled reassuringly. She seemed to know something I didn't.
"You are now beginning to see, my dear," she said while she smiled.
"Fairy Godmother? From Cinderella?" I exclaimed in amazement and realization. "You're...!"
And the kindly elderly lady pulled a long baton from her cloak's sleeve and began to wave it in figure 8's in the air, over her head and mine.
And stars fell. And took my words away.
The stars fell one by one, then five by five, and then by the dozen. The stars from the night sky snowed on me. I saw them fall, miniaturized, onto the ground. The stars brilliantly cast light, silver and white, and piled in drifts around my glass slippers and gown. I knelt to scoop a handful of stars in my hand, and cried.
These were not stars. The falling Pixie Dust covered the concrete as a soft winter snow might. A young fawn appeared to pick its way through the drifts looking for its mother. A stringless puppet danced. The drifts piled higher. An impish flying Fairy zoomed into the glittering airspace, and turned somersaults in glee, reveling in the fantastic scene. The area near the Small World Clock was covered in glowing light and silver. And Fairy Godmother kept twirling this baton, enjoying herself at it, getting a kick from seeing the tears of realization and admiration of the beauty of it all well up in my eyes.
Pixie Dust, in reality, is made of multi-faceted diamonds, but it's also light weight: I could purse my lips and blow a pile of it away from my palm, as so much glittering debris. The Dust feels cool to the touch, amazing something casting so much light could be that cool. It clings lovingly to what it touches. The Dust can cling with emotion to the person it touches. My hair shone. My gown shone. The light never blinds. It doesn't guide. It inspires.
Fairy Godmother gestured I should take some of the Pixie Dust with me as a souvenir. The impish flying Fairy flew to Godmother's shoulder, and nodded in complete agreement.
I looked around. I was wearing shorts and athletic shoes. And I knew something about Walt's lack of presence. His continued presence didn't matter, except for the spirit of his work. His spirit lives, but not in very many people. It lives in concrete and steel and pretty colors, but it depends on how we look at these things. Can you see drifts of Pixie Dust where concrete was before? Can a pair of sneakers and T-shirt attire take you to an enchanted ballroom to dance with your lover? Why rush towards the passage of time, when a moment can be stilled and savored in all its beauty? If your answer is yes, then Walt lives. My heart was bursting to say Walt was here!
But I couldn't take the Pixie Dust. It didn't seem fair that all of this wonderful stuff could be mine. Not when I was leaving. And not when others seemed to need it more than I did. I was already a Disney fan, I thought.
"I can't accept this." I said.
"I know." said Fairy Godmother, and smiled knowingly.
I looked around. The bare concrete awaited park guests for another day. It's A Small World Clock silently moved time forward. The Abominable Snowman perpetually roared, yearning for another carload of visitors to scare on the Matterhorn. There was no Godmother, no drifts of an tonic Pixie Dust. No characters or guests. Only a Cast Member in a shop counting coins in a cash register and I remained.
On my hair and my clothes clung little white diamonds of light. This whole scene really happened! I dusted myself off, and the Pixie Dust diamonds dissolved into the cool air and vanished. A few specks clung to my lips, eyes, ears, nose, head, heart and hands. I licked my lips and tasted sweetness
On my hair and my clothes clung little white diamonds of light. This whole scene really happened! I dusted myself off, and the Pixie Dust diamonds dissolved into the cool air and vanished. A few specks clung to my lips, eyes, ears, nose, head, heart and hands. I licked my lips and tasted sweetness. The Pixie Dust clung. I couldn't brush all of it away. So that is what I ended up keeping. I still think it was planned that way, by a kindly elderly lady and an impish flying Pixie working on behalf of their boss.
Five minutes to park closing. I'd delayed long enough, and went to find my husband and our party shopping within Main Street Shops. The glitter stuck to me, but no one else saw it or noticed it. I would have to tell about it, later, when they would believe me. They never asked why it took me so long to return from the ladies room just outside Toon Town. They smiled at me knowingly, as if some conspiracy was going on between them and someone higher up.
It's A Small World Clock chimed: ...twelve...
Armed with this information, DIS' 'n' DAT now presents, from the home office in "I'll Sue" City...
Copyright (c) 1995 Amberle Ferrian. Permission is hereby granted to distribute this parody freely in its original form for nonprofit use.
This song is sung to the tune of Baby Mine from the movie Dumbo, lyrics and music by Churchill and Washington.
This song is dedicated to 179 people, and probably more by the time this is read, who have enriched my life and filled it with more laughter and joy than they know.
Plushie mine Don't you cry Plushie mine Dry your eyes I must go But don't you fear My heart is here Plushie of mine Look around Here we played. Such good times They're to stay Don't give up Laughter and love Promise me now Plushie of mine We both know All things must end Don't forget We'll still be friends And when you Feel sad and lonely Take comfort I will be thinking of thee Hold your head Chin up high Life goes on By and by Search your dreams And then you'll see That's where I'll be Plushie of mine I must go But don't you fear My heart is here Plushie of mine
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