Special "Best of DIS' 'n' DAT" issue...
Out from the night, when the full moon's in sight Comes the masked man known as "Katzenburg." Shorter than heck, through your scripts carves an "X", The "X" from Mr. Katzenburg. Katzenburg... the runt that's made of latex Katzenburg... who makes the sign of the "X"
Since we were already thinking about old television shows, it was only natural to use another one for the head honcho himself. This theme song comes from another popular 1950's Disney series, this one starring Fess Parker...
Up from a-nother comp'ny's stu-di-o Came a new and diff'rent C-E-O. His moves are bold And they turn to gold - But why he hired Sparky we will never know. Michael... Michael Eisner King of the Disney Frontier Brought back animation to the stu-di-o Just when ev'rybody thought that it would go. Aladdin could command Sales over 200 grand - Which is what he got converting stock to dough! Michael... Michael Eisner The Genie in the Disney Frontier Paris losing money now, and that's for sure. In Japan the yen is rising and the crowds are poor. And "park hopping" is a NO When you're in Or-land-o... Pretty soon they'll lose money, on a-l-l four Michael... Michael Eisner King of the Disney Frontier The movie operation now is pretty set, In-creasing profits as well as their net. Hocus Pocus was meek - And showed where they're weak... So, when will we see one without Bruce or Bette? Michael... Michael Eisner King of the Disney Frontier The Ducks were a hit on the silver screen Now Michael's doing something that is seldom seen Started a franchise With untalented guys Truth be told, on the ice, they are ra-ther green. Michael... Michael Eisner King of the Disney Frontier
Sung to the tune of "Arabian Nights" from Disney's _ALADDIN_, music by Alan Menken, lyrics by Howard Ashman written by Amberle Ferrian <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Over two years ago, a new Disney park was opened. This park has that je ne sais quoi which has made it the source of material for numerous jokes, some of them published in DIS' 'n' DAT.
To avoid the appearance of shooting fish in a barrel, DIS' 'n' DAT has toned down its coverage of Euro Disney in the past couple of months. Unfortunately, this has only created a tremendous backlog of song parodies at the DIS' 'n' DAT editorial desk. We've decided that we have waited long enough, and we now present an article by our new contributing editor.
With all the financial ills facing EuroDisney now, you might imagine the narrator of ALADDIN to be singing a different tune had he introduced this theme park instead of the movie...
There's a park that they built, out in faraway France That has lost near a billion bucks And they say it's so great With that same song-and-dance But attendance, you know, it sucks They've got one in the East And a park in the West Where they man-age to do things right Write it off It'll die There's no reason to try This colossal Parisian fright Parisian fright! The Parisians say, "They built their hotels That's all fine and well But there's no one who'd stay." Parisian fright! That Parisians shun No reason to pay A fortune a day It's not that much fun
However, a Disney inciter (Deep Fins), has given us the INSIDE INFORMATION, and it appears that things are not really what they seem. After an exclusive interview, we've put everything to music, using a rock and rolling number sung by Billy Joel as the Dodger in Oliver & Company:
First we say we're losing bucks, Then we say attendance is up. You might think we're all some shmucks, That is how we'll all clean up. (Singing...) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa We're market-wise, So we improvise. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa We know bank talk, And we'll tell 'em, "Take a Walk!" Why should we worry? Why should we care? Think we don't have a dime? Well, we got bank savoire faire. Why should we worry? Why should we care? We've conned the whole pop-u-lation -- For we got bank savoire faire. We're all just sitting pretty. For once they find we've turned around, Our fortunes will abound, And we'll wear the crown. Why should we worry? Why should we care? They think we're out of time, But we got bank savoire faire. Why should we worry? Why should we care? We've conned more than just one nation. And we got bank savoire faire. We're thumbin' our nose, And we're laughin' in fits, At the bankers in a frenzy When they see our deficits! Why should we worry? Why should we care? By God, we've fooled them all the time... 'Cause we got bank savoire faire.
Of course, no team really likes to admit defeat. As a public service to those brave team members, we now present:
The other thing better than Disney's Feature Animation department, of course, is their legal staff. This little ditty is dedicated to their ceaseless and tireless efforts in preserving one of America's greatest traditions. No, not the Disney Company itself, but rather something the Mouse likes to do...
They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue in the courts the whole day through To sue sue sue sue sue sue sue is what the Disney lawyers do And when they sue they can be cruel Like when they sued that-lit-tle day care school! Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse! Don't you paint him on that house! Oh no! Oh no! It's off to court you go! You're now too late! They'll litigate! Oh no! Oh no, oh no! Oh no! Oh no! There's no case high or low For Disney's taste It's you they'll waste Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no! They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue, 'cause it's "trade-mark in-fringe-ment!" They sue sue sue sue sue sue sue - they never seem to quit But when it's their turn, they won't show That Kimba came thirty years a-go! They are glad! They are glad! That Te-zu-ka is-n't mad! Oh no! Oh no! The Disney lawyer show (Whistle) Oh no, oh no, oh no! Oh no, oh no! Let's hope DIS' 'n' DAT won't go! (Whistle) Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no! Oh no!
Since we know that our readers want the real low-down on this, DIS' 'n' DAT presents, from the home office of "I'll Sue" City:
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