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                    "All Disney news fitted to print"

Volume 1 Number  1                                        April 93 Edition

In this issue...

Disney Invades the NHL

Now that the Walt Disney Company and the National Hockey League have announced the formation of a new expansion team in Anaheim, the Mighty Ducks, we are now going to see Disney's influence on the sport as it attempts to modify the sport from a rating of "R" or "PG-13" to a more family-oriented "G."

"We don't want any more fighting in this sport," commented Michael Eisner, who fancies himself as a hockey fan. "We are going to use our new influence in the league to tone down the violence."

How? You might ask.

Good question. We have done some digging and our Disney inciter, Deep Beak, has come through with the low-down.

"First, we are going to get rid of the Penalty Box. It only reminds people that a skater can skewer an opponent and only get three minutes in a box as a punishment. Although spending time `in the box' can sound like something from `Cool Hand Luke,' we at Disney have a new idea, one for the 90's. From now on, people getting caught doing anything violent, on or off the ice, will be sealed in a magic lamp and buried in the desert for a few centuries."

Ahh, the Disney touch. Do you think the players will accede to these conditions?

"Sure. Remember, we have contracts, and none of them currently specifically say that we can't do this."

What about the other managers and owners?

"Once a player is banished for a few hundred years, the owners will not be obligated to continue paying the player's salary until the player is released from the magic lamp, which could take a bit of time, not to mention luck."

What will this do to the game?

"We have run a computer simulation of this scenario, and we found that in the first few weeks, there will be little or no changes. Then, the real violent players will soon disappear, leaving the game to those that _really_ love the sport."

And what will the game be like then?

"Comparing today's hockey game to tomorrows will be like comparing the Star Tours ride at Disneyland to Dumbo's Magical Flight."

Leave it to Disney...

Top 10 Alternate Names for Disney's Team

More than one person has commented about the unfortunate choice of "The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim" as the name for the new NHL expansion team. We at DIS' 'N' DAT have learned that this was not the only name that had been considered. In the spirit of David Letterman's "Top Ten Lists," we present the ten runner's up to the teams current name.
_The Macho Dudes_, rejected because it did not accurately represent "the Disney image."
_Blade Runners_, rejected because Disney does not own the rights to the title.
_The Icemen Cometh_, also rejected for the same reason as number 9.
_Hockey Pucks_, rejected because Don Rickels would not sign on as the team's mascot.
_The Love Bugs_, favored by the old guard still at Disney, but rejected because it does not accurately reflect "The New Disney."
_L. A. Lakers_, which was a real contender for the title, until Jack Nicholson told Michael Eisner that he would sue.
_Euro Disney is a Real Bargain_, an attempt to boost attendance in the new Disney theme park, rejected because (a) the name did not seem to go in the spirit of athletic teams, and (b) because there was no truth in the name.
_Sister Act_, rejected because most of the players thought the name was too effeminate.
_Goof Troop_, an attempt to boost ratings for the Disney Afternoon series, was rejected for reasons never revealed.
And, our favorite at DIS' 'N' DAT was...

Southern California.

Plot Summaries

Here at DIS' 'N' DAT, we realize that not all of our readers may be exactly familiar with the work of Walt Disney Productions. The company has put out a number of animated shorts, animated features, live action features, and documentaries.

As a public service, we present a continuing listing of the plot summaries for some of Walt Disney Productions' past productions. This month, we have the first two Disney animated features: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and Pinnochio.

A young girl is detested by her mother, who orders her killed. The girl runs away to live with a bunch of vertically-handicapped men. The mother discovers where she is and poisons the girl, and gets killed attempting the flee the scene. The girl is awakened by a kiss from a prince who was just in the neighborhood.
A wood-worker creates a puppet that comes to life. On its way to school, he is sold to perform in a stage act. He escapes from the mean proprietor, only to be sold to a person that wants to turn him into a donkey. The puppet escapes again, only to find out that his "father" has been swallowed by a whale. He searches the ocean, frees his father and this time dies while attempting to escape. He magically comes back to life as a real boy.

Find the Hidden Mickey...

DIS' 'N' DAT is going to sponsor our first ever contest.

Based on one of the most popular pasttimes amoung Disney-philes, we are introducing the DIS' 'N' DAT "Find the Hidden Mickey" contest.

The concept is simple. Hidden on Michael Eisner is at least one image of the famous Mouse. The contest is to figure out EXACTLY where on Michael Eisner the famous visage resides.

All people that care to enter, simply send mail to "lar3ry@world.std.com," with a subject line containing the phrase "Hidden Mickey Contest," and describe exactly where you have spotted (or think you have spotted) Ole Mick' on the CEO of the Walt Disney Company.

Contestants may enter as many times as they wish, and make as many "findings" as desired in each entry. If you wish your entry to be anonymous, please state so in your entry. The results will be posted in a future issue of DIS' 'N' DAT.

So, all you out there in net-land... help the Great Mouse Detective find the hidden Mickey on Mikey.

DIS' 'n' DAT is published semi-regularly by Larry Gensch. Nothing may be reprinted in whoe or in part without attribution to DIS' 'n' DAT.

All incidents, situations, and events depicted or described in DIS' 'n' DAT are fictional, and any semblance to real life is really, you know, coincidental.

People wishing to contribute to DIS' 'n' DAT should send email to the publication at the internet address below. Please state explicitly if you wish to retain copyright or anonymity for any material submitted.

DIS' 'n' DAT / April 93 Edition / lar3ry@world.std.com